Blog dedicated to my favorite series and #1 in all the world, DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES. I hope you like it. This is for you. Desperate Housewives Curiosities, Quotes, Photos, Spoliers, Confessions (Made for you) and more.
Desperate Housewives Things
  • Julie: Mom, why would someone kill themselves?
  • Susan: Well, sometimes people are so unhappy, they think that's the only way they can solve their problems.
  • Julie: But Mrs. Young always seemed happy.
  • Susan: Yeah. But sometimes, people pretend to be one way on the outside, when they're totally different on the inside.
  • Julie: Oh, you mean like how dad's girlfriend is always smiling and says nice things, but deep down, you just know she's a bitch?
  • Susan: I don't like that word, Julie. But yeah, that's a great example
  • Lynette: She was pissed when I didn't tell her you might be pregnant. If I don't tell her about this, I'm dead.
  • Julie: Come on, Lynette.
  • Lynette: I'm serious! She already shot Katherine. Now she's got a taste for blood.
  • Austin: You won't return my calls.
  • Julie: Well, I've been busy. Plus, my mom caught you naked on top of my friend!
  • Susan is picking out a dress to wear to Jane's funeral.
  • Susan: It's not about me, this is about Jane and Ian. What if I wore this one?
  • Julie: Then it'll be about Jane, Ian and your boobs.
  • Susan: I have got to get more depressing clothes.
  • Susan: (tense) Why were you two talking about condoms?
  • Julie: Why were you eavesdropping?
  • Susan: Don't change the subject. Are you two having sex? Because I thought I raised you to be smarter than that. (more tense): Don't you realize that sex is not fun and games? It's dangerous!! Every time you turn around there's a new disease! Do you want it to burn when you pee?
  • Julie: Mom.
  • Susan: Sex kills!
  • Julie: MOM!!!
  • Susan: WHAT?!!
  • Julie: I'm not having sex.
  • Susan: Really?
  • Julie: Really.
  • Susan: (Relieved) Oh, thank god.
  • (They hug)
  • Susan: If you're not having sex, why were you talking about condoms?
  • Susan: I'm out of lipstick. Can I borrow yours?
  • Julie: Sure. (hands her her lipstick)
  • Susan: Cherry berry?
  • Julie: Austin likes the way it tastes.
  • Susan: Oh, I so did not need to know that.
  • Danielle: You hold on to your virginity. If Austin won't wait then he doesn't deserve you.
  • Julie: I just don't want to lose him.
  • Danielle: It's better than losing your self respect. Take it from a girl who's known at school as 'Little Miss Van De Tramp'.
  • Julie: I thought you made that up?
  • Danielle: Only because it was nicer than the other names they were calling me.
  • Susan: Julie, that boy drinks, he steals, and now I find him mauling you on my couch? That's it! Julie Alexandra Mayer, I forbid you to see him!
  • Julie: You can't do that! I choose who I date. You don't!
  • Susan: Oh, yeah? Well, maybe I don't, but I do choose to ground you. Two weeks, baby. No more.
  • Julie: Fine. I'll just see him at school, then.
  • Susan: Well, then maybe you won't go to school. I'll home school you.
  • Julie: Right. You're gonna teach me trig? You can't even balance your own checkbook.
  • Susan: Yes, and you will be poorly educated, and you won't get into college, and you will work for minimum wage for the rest of your life, and all because of that boy! I hope you're happy!
  • Julie: Mom, I like this guy, and I'm sorry if it makes you unhappy, but I'm going to keep seeing him no matter what. So don't try to stop me!
  • Edie: Julie, sweetie. You're a good girl. Do yourself a favor and stay away from my nephew.
  • Julie: Trust me, I have no interest in swaggering, muscle-bound juvenile delinquents.
  • Edie: Honey, that's what every good girl says, just before she becomes a bad girl. Trust me, I know.

“(upon seeing the RV trailer she is going to live in) Why are you doing this to me? I get good grades. I don’t do drugs. I’ve never come home pregnant…”

2x23 Julie Mayer