Blog dedicated to my favorite series and #1 in all the world, DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES. I hope you like it. This is for you. Desperate Housewives Curiosities, Quotes, Photos, Spoliers, Confessions (Made for you) and more.
Desperate Housewives Things
  • Karl: Do we have to do this now? I haven't had my coffee yet.
  • Susan: Did you spend the night with Edie? Oh, my God!
  • Karl: Susie, just calm down.
  • Susan: You are forbidden from ever seeing her again. Do you hear me? Forbidden!
  • Karl: We're divorced. You can't tell me who I can date.
  • Susan: I live on this street. Your daughter lives on this street. I will not have you flaunting your sexcapades in front of us.
  • Karl: Sexcapades?
  • Susan: Forbidden!
  • Karl: I, I, I would love to continue this, but it's time for breakfast, and Edie is making me a Frittata.
  • Susan: Well, I just bet she is!
  • Gabrielle: Why are all rich men jerks?
  • Carlos: Same reason all beautiful women are bitches! (pause)
  • Carlos: So, same time tomorrow?
  • Gabrielle: Sure, baby. (leans over and kisses him)

“Control. It’s extraordinary the tactics people employ to obtain it. Some rely on deception. While others engage in outright trickery. Then there are those who resort to extortion. Why do we fight so hard for control? Because we know to lose it is to put our fate in the hands of others. And what could be more dangerous?”

2x02 Ending Narration
  • Edie: You don't have the guts.
  • Susan: In five seconds, I'm gonna punch it.
  • Edie: (holds up a set of keys) Yeah? I'll key your car!
  • Susan: Not if you're sucking my exhaust, you won't.
  • Edie: Take back what you said!
  • Susan: No, I won't!
  • Edie: Admit it, you'd do anything to destroy my happiness!
  • Susan: Edie, for God's sake. Why would I care if you end up with a man I despise?
  • Edie: 'Cause you and Mike are finished. Yeah, word's out. And now that you can't be happy, you don't want anyone else to be, period.
  • Edie: Karl said that you know all about our dirty little secret.
  • Susan: Yes, yes, I do.
  • Edie: Well, I feel awful. I should have told you that I was doing your ex. Well, it would've been the classy thing to do.
  • Susan: Well, etiquette is a lost art for a lot of people.
  • Edie: Oh, you've gotta believe me, I never, ever thought anything would happen with us. But on our first date, Karl took me to a Mexican restaurant. You know what I get like when I drink tequila. A couple of shooters and my bra unhooks itself.
  • Susan: Circumstances beyond your control. I get it. So if you'll excuse me.
  • Edie: Hey. Hey, hey. I am offering you an opportunity here. I mean, go ahead, vent. Let me have it. Come on, tell me what a bitch I am. Yeah, for snacking on your leftovers. I deserve it. Come on, bring it on.
  • Susan: Honestly, Edie, I don't mind. You can skate off into the sunset with Karl. Be my guest.
  • Edie: Well, that's good to know. You know, I probably shouldn't tell you this, but, while we were in my Jacuzzi last night, Karl said it was the best sex he's ever had, bar none.
  • Susan: Actually, I'm glad that you shared that, because here's a tidbit for you. Karl said he's still in love with me.
  • Susan: I was just wondering... are you having some remodeling done on your house or something?
  • Betty: No, why?
  • Susan: Well, uh... I work at home, so... I'm home a lot, working, and... I just keep hearing these noises, lately. It's hard to concentrate.
  • Betty: I haven't noticed anything.
  • Susan: Really... well it sounds like it is coming from your house. You know, it's like a clinging, clinging... (clinging from the house) There, that's it! Did you hear it?!
  • Betty: Oh, yes... Matthew's very handy. He's always doing parts around the house. I guess I just don't notice the noise any more.
  • Susan: Even at 2 o'clock in the morning? Cause that's kind of hard to miss.
  • Betty: I'm so sorry. Matthew is somewhat of an insomniac, Susan, but I will talk to him and will put a stop to it.

“Just give me a minute… I am asking God to kill me.”

2x02 Susan Mayer

“Since the guy who held me hostage turned out to be your son, logic dictates I should move on.”

2x02 Susan Mayer

“Beautiful lawns, spacious homes, happy families. These are the hallmarks of suburbia. But if you look beneath the veneer of gracious living… you will see a battle raging, a battle for control. You see the combatants everywhere, engaged in their routine skirmishes…fighting fiercely to have dominion over the world around them, all the while knowing… it’s a battle they will lose.”

2x02 Opening Narration